This
is just silly -- but is that so wrong?
The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants
and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants", by Dav Pilkey in which
the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...
Use the first letter of your first name to determine your NEW first name:
| a
= stinky |
j
= poopsie |
s = snotty |
| b = lumpy |
k = flunky |
t = falafel |
| c = buttercup |
l = booger |
u = dorkey |
| d = gidget |
m = pinky |
v = squeezit |
| e = crusty |
n = zippy |
w = oprah |
| f = greasy |
o = goober |
x = skipper |
| g = fluffy |
p = doofus |
y = dinky |
| h = cheeseball |
q = slimy |
z = zsa-zsa |
| i = chim-chim |
r = loopy |
|
Now use the first letter of your last name to dertermine the first half of
your NEW last name:
| a
= diaper |
j
= monkey |
s
= pizza |
| b = toilet |
k = potty |
t = gerbil |
| c = giggle |
l = liver |
u = chicken |
| d = bubble |
m = banana |
v = pickle |
| e = girdle |
n = rhino |
w = chuckle |
| f = barf |
o = burger |
x =tofu |
| g = lizard |
p = hamster |
y = gorilla |
| h = waffle |
q = toad |
z = stinker |
| i = cootie |
r = gizzard |
|
Finally, use the last letter of your last name to determine the second half
of your NEW last name:
| a
= head |
j
= honker |
s
= fanny |
| b = mouth |
k = butt |
t = sniffer |
| c = face |
l = brain |
u = sprinkles |
| d = nose |
m = tushie |
v = kisser |
| e = tush |
n = chunks |
w = squirt |
| f = breath |
o = hiney |
x =humperdinck |
| g = pants |
p = biscuits |
y = brains |
| h = shorts |
q = toes |
z = juice |
| i = lips |
r = buns |
|
Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Fluffy C. Toiletshorts.
|
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