Two Blondes walk into a building. You would have thought that one of them would have seen it.

This blonde gets on an a British Airways flight and is seated in the economy section. After the plane takes off and the Captain extinguishes the seat belt sign, she gets up and goes to the front and sits down in first class.

Seeing this, the Flight Attendant goes up to her and says: "I'm sorry, you can't stay here, this area is for the first class passengers only. Sarah replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to Montreal."

"The Flight Attendant goes up to the cockpit and reports this to the First Officer who goes back to where she was seated. He gets the same response when he tries to get her to move:
"I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to Montreal."

So the First Officer goes back to the cockpit and tells the Captain. He says,
"Not a problem, my wife is a blonde. I'll handle it."
So the Captain goes to where she is sitting, introduces himself, speaks to her briefly and to everyone's surprise, the blonde gets up and returns to her own seat!

When he gets back to the cockpit, the First Officer and Flight Attendant are waiting to see how he did this. "It was easy," said the Captain, "I just told her that the first class section wasn't going to Montreal."

Our blond finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery."

Lotto night comes and she does not win. She again prays... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and now I'm going to lose my car."

Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she Prays... " Dear Lord, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask for help, and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEEEEASE just let me win the lottery this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly, there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open for the first time in her life and she hears the voice of God ... "GIRL, YOU'VE GOT TO WORK WITH ME ON THIS, BUY A TICKET."

This blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.